Friday, March 14, 2014

Maxine has graciously given me "probationary status" until March 30th as a contributor to the Pine Valley Blog. (Since I know a thing or two about probation...I better move forward with a couple Posts and work on getting OFF probation.)

I won't add yet another theory to the ever-growing list of "what happened to Malaysia Flight 370"...but since the path DID pass over the Malacca Strait, and Malaccan Terrorists DID hijack a Dutch train in 1977, AND there have been on-going threats to ocean-going commerce in the Malacca Strait...I'm just saying'...

Sorry, I digress. Let's focus on a mystery closer to home. Yup, right here in Pine Valley we have our very own "cloak 'n dagger" that has more than a couple-a-folks befuddled an' looking' sideways at the shadows.

Most will recall it started early last fall when the Pedestrian X-ing sign on Main Street, OVERNIGHT,  became a "Sasquatch X-ing" sign. Very likely it was created to get us all to slow down a bit...not because of the early morning walking teams as they travel three abreast playing dodge-car, or because  of the "skunk-eye" one might receive passing the fire station at 27 mph. Nay, it got us to slow down because we too might see that cryptid ape/hominid/hairy bipedal beast called Bigfoot! (One PV young man has seen Sasquatch dozens of times!)

The critter's rumored path of travel is from the mountains to the South, through the valley crossing Main Street to the river (OK, stream) and then East to the camp ground where it will huck a few rocks at campers and hikers near the reservoir.

All was well in the valley with the sign. Folks were slowing down. Heads and eyeballs were-a-swiveling-an-clickin' as they s-l-o-w-l-y moved along Main Street hoping for a shot, er, glimpse.

Then events took a sad but almost predictable turn...the sign DISAPPEARED!!! Was it a prank? Thievin' bounders from the flatlands? Had a county road crew actually found a socket wrench that fit?  No one knew. There was a lot of speculation though.

Some of the comments overheard at various valley venues were: Sally Lee said, "Dorks took it.", Sheriff Smith was seen star
ing at the empty sign pole asking, "How's your attitude?", Howard Putnam said, "If I catch the thief he'll sing an octave higher!", Bob Dalley suggested, "This could be a service project.", and Chief Scheifer was last seen consulting the PVFD Policy Manual...

Well, so far the sign has, sadly, yet to surface...the Bigfoot sightings are on the increase in Pine Valley...and the fast-drivin' visitors are returning.

With the mystery still a mystery, and until next words of advice are, "Keep your eyes peeled. They could be anywhere!"


  1. I very much enjoyed your post! I hope to hear more from Shoofly Skallywag!

  2. this is terrific writing AND the subject at hand has been a concern of mine for a couple of months now ...I, for one, want the sign returned to its prominent position ... who would do such a thing as to steal a favorite sign of this valley???

  3. wow. this made me super proud to live in Pine Valley....I will be on the lookout for this crazy human/animal

  4. Now the great mystery is: who is Shoofly Skallywag?